The very strange Hogwarts
by reviewfreek140
Summary: This story is for the audience that likes humor, and it mentions almost everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The very strange Hogwarts

O.k. All of the credit can't go to me, my friend Shannon and Kristy helped me make the story. Just read, it's hilarious.

There once was a girl named Hermione. She was a serial killer. Woof! Meow! Caw! Ribbit! Moo! Nay! *bubble* Aye! Anyway, he killed Hagrid. And his girlfriend, Professor McGonagall, got mad. So she committed suicide, she jumped out of the castle window, but landed on Harry Potter flying his broom. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Harry and McGonagall screamed. "I never noticed how good you look Harry" said McGonagall lovingly. "Ewwwwwwwwww" Harry screamed, and jumped off the broom. He landed on Hermione and they began making out. "Oh, Harry" said Hermione. Then Draco Malfoy came up and told Harry to get off his girlfriend. "Shut up Malfoy, I never liked you anyway," said Hermione and kissed Harry again. Then Hagrid appeared out of nowhere and tried making out with Malfoy, while Malfoy was pushing him away. "So" shouted Hagrid "I've loved you for so long." Malfoy screamed and ran straight into Filch. Then Filch started trying to make out with Malfoy! Draco didn't struggle. Albus Dumbledore walked up and said "No! Argus Filch is mine!" He pushed Draco away and started trying to lick Filch's butt. *audience cringes* O.k. Lets leave that scene… back to Harry and Hermione, who were still making out. Then Harry got up and walked away from Hermione, who was extremely confused. Harry ran into McGonagall, who looked rather…erm…well…as if she had just gotten dressed. "What the hell?" said Harry. Then Snape came out of the door in just boxers. Harry screamed and ran into Ginny who said, "Harry! You look horrible! Follow me!" She took Harry into a broom closet and put a "Do not disturb" sign on the outside (strange sounds were heard a few minutes later coming from the closet). Then, the school janitor, Mr. Bill, who totally missed the sign, opened the janitor's closet door, to find Ginny totally undressed with Harry, also naked. "Help me" shouted Harry and ran into Mr. Bills arms. Then Mr. Bill pinned Harry to the floor and tried humping him. Then Ginny ran away crying, only to find herself in the Chamber of Secrets in a rather large bed next to the basilisk. Tom Riddle looked at her from a not-so-far away bed, with Hermione beside him. "Meow" said Tom. "Woof" said Ginny. "Moo" said Hermione. Now back to a struggling Harry with his pants down trying to be humped by Mr. Bill. Harry screamed and ran into our little scene between Malfoy, Filch and Dumbledore. Dumbledore was on the floor with Filch while Malfoy was stripping for no good reason. Back to Hermione, who had run, crying, into Draco, who began making out with her. The Professor Flitwick found Tom all by himself with no one around. Use you imagination. Professor Binns came floating through the hall, paying no attention to the-em- sexual happening. He bumped into, actually glided through a crying Percy Weasley who was sad because he didn't have anyone to make out with. Binns said, "I think Gilderoy Lockhart is out back...why don't you try there?" "Hey, why not, I've always wanted to try guys, not that I haven't before" said Percy excitedly. So Percy went out back where he found Lockhart pretending to be dead to ignore the commotion inside the castle. So he tried 2 make out with him. He succeeded. Back to Harry, who had been watching Draco & Hermione and Dumbledore and Filch have a rather good time. Then out of nowhere Nick Carter appears and leads Harry into a wall, Harry turns invisible and he sees Snape and McGonagall doing it. Harry became quite scared and ran away, when Nick Carter said, "I never noticed how lovely your eyes were, Harry." Then he tried making out with Harry. Then our friend Ron Weasley was feeling sad because he was ugly and no one would make out with him. So Ron became depressed and ran out of the castle, straight into Madam Hooch. "Mr. Weasley, what are you doing" said Hooch "30 points from Gryffindor". Then Ron went on his way as we return to Snape who just left McGonagall's office screaming "you don't tell me what to do Minerva." "Yes, I do, Severus!" shouted McGonagall. Snape whimpered, "Yes, ma'am." Now as we return to Harry, he is being chased by Nick Carter. "Help me, he's trying, to make out with me dude." said Harry. Then he bumped into Ron who was still moping. "Harry, I don't have anyone to make out with!" said Ron. Then he smiled with an idea and kissed Harry passionately. Harry began struggling but fell into the kiss when Nick came around the corner. "What r u doing Harry" said Nick Shockingly, but then all of a sudden Justin Timberlake appeared still feeling bad about his breakup with Britney, and Nick and Justin started making out. Then Britney Spears popped up and screamed, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I STILL LOVE YOU, JUSTIN!" but then Christina Aguilera appeared and made a gesture and Britney said, "Never mind," and they disappeared into a classroom. Now taking a tour into the dungeon, we see Filch, Dumbledore, Tom Riddle, Ginny Weasley, Barney, Big Bird, and a half-dead Elmo. They are playing strip poker. Yes. Ginny is naked and Tom is winning and enjoying it. Sicko. Now, the group decides to change the game to make it strip truth or dare. "Well, I don't have anything left to strip" said Ginny. She then left the game frustrated. Then 30 minutes into the game Barney is in a corner making out with Dumbledore. "Hey! Why aren't you playing?" asked Tom. Dumbledore said, "Mmmph!" from under Barney before Barney swept him into another kiss and Dumbledore wrapped his arms around Barney's fat neck. Then back to Harry and Ron making out. They kept on doing it over and over again. Anyway, Snape was trying to win McGonagall back, but she already was making out with someone else. Quirrel. "Oh, no! My beloved Minerva has left me for a runt!" cried Snape, swooning. Then he wet into the girls bathroom. He gave himself a Whirly, and then met Ginny crying naked on the floor. Ginny looked up at him with wide brown eyes. Suddenly, they fell to his lips, and down to...well, you get the picture. They began having a rather nice time, as well. Back to the strip Truth or Dare. Dumbledore had stopped making out with Barney. Filch was doing the Mexican hat dance in a pink skirt and a bra. Dumbledore was only in boxers. Riddle was naked and trying to climb the ceiling. Barney was making out with the half dead Elmo and Big bird was doing the wedgie dance. Draco is walking around giving everybody kisses and singing the "I love u, u love me" song. This is all happening while Hermione has just woken up to find herself on the floor by herself w/o Malfoy. So she went into a classroom that was empty. All of a sudden Crabbe walked in and Hermione felt so bad she started to make out with him. Now as we go back into the Prefects bathroom, we find Percy alone and unwanted. Lockhart had abandoned him, and is now going after Quirrel, who is busy with McGonagall. Now for all of you nice people who need to catch up on the things we haven't told you yet, Neville and Padma are doing it in Snape's class, Goyle & Lavender are in Filches office, and Seamus & Parvati are in the Great Hall on the Ravenclaw table. Then we find Justin Timberlake walking away from Nick Carter who is begging for forgiveness, who gives up after seeing Percy looking forgotten in the Prefects Bathroom. ...And going in to join him. Use your imagination audience. Anyway, as we step back into a nicely decorated Chamber of Secrets, we see Harry and Ron being married. And Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Moody looking very unoccupied whilst watching them get married. But James, Sirius and Remus soon left, looking for a more "serene" area, the broom cupboard, for instance. Leaving Lily and Moody to quietly leave for the empty classroom across from the girls' bathroom, which left Harry and Ron very peeved. Then we find that the strip truth of dare game has ended cause everyone was naked. Dumbledore, who still has on his boxers, won. But then, everyone walks in with a big smile... and Lily says "Okay, who's up for round two?" and everyone cheers. So by the end of that very strange day at Hogwarts everyone was playing Strip Truth or Dare. And they lived happily ever after.

THE END

Or did they? 


End file.
